When it comes to managing teams, being good at your job is often only the starting point. The real challenge can come when you’re expected to lead people. Managing performance and navigating difficult conversations – sometimes without ever having been taught those people management skills – is really challenging. There are many ways in which an executive coach can help, possibly more than you think!
The “Accidental Manager” Problem
For many professionals, management isn’t necessarily something you set out to do. You work hard, build expertise, deliver results and become someone people rely on. Then comes the promotion—and suddenly you’re responsible for a team, their performance, their development and sometimes their wellbeing.
It’s a big shift. And being excellent at your previous job doesn’t automatically prepare you to manage other people.
Have you been promoted for expertise, not leadership? Research published by People Magazine in 2024 suggests that as many as 80% of UK bosses could be described as “accidental managers”, with many receiving little or no formal training in people management skills when they step into leadership. No wonder some professional publications are talking about a national crisis.
Technical confidence is different from people confidence. You may feel completely comfortable running projects, managing budgets, dealing with clients or making strategic decisions, yet feel less certain when you need to challenge someone’s behaviour, address underperformance or have an uncomfortable conversation. That’s not unusual—it’s a different skill set. And you are not alone; people management skills, and specifically coaching, performance management and conflict resolution, are widely recognised as areas where managers can lack confidence.
Where Managers Often Need More Support
The encouraging thing is that these aren’t fixed traits. You can learn and practise people management skills.
- Performance management: Many senior leaders lack skills and confidence in managing and developing employee performance. Knowing how to set clear expectations, give constructive feedback and tackle issues early can make difficult situations much easier to handle.
- Coaching and wellbeing: Managers are increasingly expected to support their teams through challenges involving motivation, wellbeing and personal circumstances. Having those conversations can feel daunting, particularly when you’re trying to balance empathy with your responsibilities as a manager.
- Handling conflict: Most people don’t particularly enjoy conflict. It’s tempting to hope a difficult situation will resolve itself, but that rarely works. Learning how to listen, stay calm and address issues directly can help you handle conflict without making it feel confrontational.
- Leading with confidence: Effective leadership isn’t about having the loudest voice in the room or pretending to have all the answers. It’s about creating clarity, building trust and helping people perform at their best. Strong people leadership can ultimately have a real impact on team performance and business results.
Can a coach help with people management skills?
The short answer is, yes! This is where working with an executive coach can be particularly valuable. Coaching gives you a confidential space to step back from the day-to-day, make sense of what’s happening and work out how you want to lead.
1. Build confidence as a manager
You don’t need to have all the answers. I can help you understand your strengths, identify the areas where you feel less confident and develop a leadership style that feels authentic to you.
2. Prepare for difficult conversations
Whether it’s giving challenging feedback, addressing underperformance or dealing with a sensitive issue, you can rehearse the conversation before you have it. I can help you think through what you want to say, how you want to say it and how to respond if the conversation doesn’t go as planned.
3. Get better at performance management
Managing performance doesn’t have to mean waiting for an annual review or stepping in only when something goes wrong. Coaching can help you develop a more consistent approach to setting expectations, giving feedback, having regular check-ins and addressing issues early.
4. Develop your coaching skills
Great managers don’t simply tell people what to do. They help people think, learn and take ownership. I can help you become better at asking powerful questions, listening properly and helping your team find their own solutions.
5. Handle conflict with more confidence
Conflict can be uncomfortable, particularly when you care about maintaining good relationships. Coaching gives you the opportunity to explore what’s really going on, challenge your assumptions and develop a calm, constructive approach to difficult situations.
6. Become more effective at influencing others
Leadership isn’t just about what happens within your own team. The modern workplace can involve complex relationships with senior leaders, peers, clients and stakeholders. Coaching can help you communicate with greater clarity, manage different personalities and influence without relying on authority alone.
7. Manage your own pressure and boundaries
Being responsible for other people can make it surprisingly easy to put your own needs at the bottom of the list. Coaching can help you recognise unhelpful patterns, manage competing demands and establish healthier boundaries—so you can lead effectively without constantly feeling overwhelmed.
8. Step into a more senior version of yourself
As your career progresses, what made you successful at one level may not be enough at the next. An executive coach can help you make that transition—from doing everything yourself to delegating effectively, from solving problems to developing people, and from being the expert to becoming the leader.
In a nutshell…
You don’t need to become a different person to become a better manager.
You don’t have to be naturally assertive, have every answer or feel completely comfortable with difficult conversations from day one.
Good management is something you can learn, practise and get better at. And you don’t have to work it all out on your own.
Whether you’re leading a team, working in a fast-growing business or taking your first steps into management, the right executive coaching can give you the space, challenge and practical support to become a more confident and effective leader.
The goal isn’t to have all the answers. It’s to have the confidence, tools and judgement to know how to handle the conversations that matter—and to lead your people well while staying true to yourself. If you think I can help with this, get in touch.